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‘JOKES’

Section JOKES :

This is where you will find all jokes and humorous material.


The Joke on Rabri Devi and Lalu prasaad (English)

A very nice joke can be shared on Facebook and orkut..

Rabri Devi died and went to heaven. As she stood
in front of yamraj , she saw a huge wall of clocks
behind.

She asked, “What are all those clocks?”

Yamraj answered, “Those are LieClocks.
Everyone on Earth has a LieClock. Every time you
lie, the hands on your clock will move.”

“Oh,” said Rabri, “Who’s clock is that?”

“That’s Gautam Buddha’s. The hands have never
moved indicating that she never told a lie.”

“And whose clock is that?”

“That’s Abraham Lincoln’s clock. The hands have
only moved twice, telling us that Abraham only
told 2 lies in his entire life.”

Rabri asked, “Where’s my Laloo’s clock?”

“Laloo”s clock is in my office”, replied
yamraj, “I’m using it as a ceiling fan.”

Advert.

Hanuman Jayanti Jokes collection(Hindi Chutkule)

Here we are sharing few jokes in Hindi floating around on internet related to Hanuman

Ek aadmi ram mandir gaya aur rone laga
He ram meri biwi kho gayi
Ram ji bole
Baju wale hanuman mandir me jake bol
Meri bi usi n dhundi thi

Hanuman Mandir Me buri niyat wale gaeb ho jate the
Me gaya, gayab ho gaya
Mera Friend gaya, gayab ho gaya
Lekin,
TUM gaye
Hanumanji gayab ho gaye.

Poem of next generation ‘KG’ : Funny Sms

Here we are presenting a next generation poem of ‘KG’. In this sms you will read the poem of next generation child on Drinking. So share this funny poem with your friend on orkut and facebook by by just copy and paste on their message box. So, checkout this funny poem.

 

 

THE NEXT GENERATION
‘KG’ POEM.

DRINKING DRINKING
LITTLE BEER. HOW !
WONDER WHICH BAR
IS NEAR. QUARTER
RATES R UP SO HIGH.
DRINK A PEG WITH
CHICKEN FRY.
Cheers …

Friends Word on Succes : Funny Sms

Read this funny sms in which you will see the words of different peoples when we pass a exam but words of friend are different from everyone. Share this funny sms with your friend on orkut and facebook by just copy and paste on their message box. So, checkout the funny words of friends.

 

 

If U pass in exams:

Mom’s words:
Bahut khushi ki
bat hai !

Dad :
Mere beta sher
hai !

Lover :
So sweet..

&
Frnds :

Dhokebaaz, kaminey,
oye ! kab pada be tune
itna ?

A filmi Joke on Cricket Sport (Hindi)

Here we have nice joke in filmy style for the sport of cricket.

Ajit: Maikal, Test Match mein kyaa ho raha hai ?

Maikal: Boss, Vivian Richards chhakke pe chhakke maar raha hai.

Ajit: Saaleh ko sabak sikhana padega. Lunch break mein usse phone milana.

Maikal: Yes Boss.

AJIT: (on phone, to Richards): Veeveeyun Reechards, tumhari Maa hamare kabze mein hai …….

Latest Indian Cricket Team Joke - Which no more applies

The joke we are going to share was very much applicable to Indian cricket but after winning 2011 ICC world cup, this is now not valid but still we are sharing it as before world cup, it was really very true.

DIVORCE COURT SCENE :
The Judge (J.) asks the little girl (LG):
Now that your parents are getting divorced do you want to live
with your mummy?
LG - No, my mummy beats me.
J. - Well then, I guess you want to live with your daddy.
LG - No, my daddy beats me too.
J. - Well then, who do you want to live with?
LG - I want to live with the Indian Cricket team, they never
beat anybody !!!

Cricket Sports Jokes Collection- Indian Jokes English

Here is a small collection of jokes on India’s favourite sport ie. Cricket :

Beer and Cricket

In a country town match, the batsman was out first ball. ‘Not like last week,’ said the wicket-keeper.

‘No,’ said the batsman. ‘Last week I stayed in and got forty and when I got back all the beer was gone!’

Don’t be a Silly Batsman

The cricketer was proud of his progress as a batsman and invited his mother-in-law along to watch him play, hoping to impress her.
At the crease, he turned to the wicket-keeper and said ‘I’m anxious to do well and really hit this ball. That’s my wife’s mother over there.
‘Don’t be silly,’ said the wicket-keeper. ‘You’ll never hit her at two hundred yards.

New rules for Indian Cricket

1) Declaring the winner: If Pakistan bats first and scores x runs then
the target for India will be revised to x/2. They need to score (x/2)+1
runs to be declared winner. If India bats first then the number of overs
for Pakistan will be reduced to 25. Even after these modifications India
contrive to lose, they will be awarded psychological victory.

2) Fielding restrictions: When India is fielding, as soon as any fielder
touches the ball, it will be deemed as dead ball and Pakistan batsmen
will only be allowed to complete that run. This modification is being
done to eliminate time being wasted for overthrows etc.

3) By popular demand from Indian players, a few additional coaches have
been included in the touring party with immediate effect. They are,
Batting coach : Ravi Shastri
Bowling Coach(with experience in Sharjah conditions) : Chetan
Sharma
Fielding Coach : Ravi Shastri(Dual responsibility)
TV Commercials Coach : Salman Khan
Video Coach : Name will be announced later

4) As the deadline to submit final 15 players for the 1999 World Cup is
over, the result of the match on 18th April between 1983 Indian team and
the current team will not have any bearing on the team going to England.

Any other suggestions are welcome. We at the ICC would like to
ascertain again our commitment to spread the game of cricket globally, from Mozambique to Maldives and from Turkmenistan to Tibet.

Thanking You.
Yours Sincerely,
Jagmohan Dalmiya

Mobile CNG Station - Chalta Firta CNG Station

A nice joke in Hindi as well in English version for you!

“Aaj ki Khaas baat”

3 mooli k parathy

2 gobi k parathy

1plate maash ki daal
Or
1pyala ublay chany

Ek sath khaye’n

Or

Chalta Phirta
CNG STATION BAN JAYE’N

Now those who don’t know, we have its english version but before that you should know that Paratha is a very famous form of kind of bread in India which is very heavy to digest, so here it goes..

Tip of the Day:

3 White Radish Parathe

2 Cauliflower Parathe

1 plate maash daal
or
I bowl boiled gram

and

then we have

become a mobile CNG station :)

April Fool Sms Collection : Funny Sms

Here we are presenting a funny collection of April fool sms. We collect some amazing funny April fool sms for you which you can send to your friends to make them fool. So, choose your best sms from this collection and share it with your friend on orkut and facebook by just copy and paste on their message box. So, checkout this April fool sms collection.

 

 

 » SomeOne..
MiSSES U..
NeeDS U..
Worries About U
Lonely Without U
Guess Who?
THE MONKEY IN
… THE ZOO …

 

 

 » I want U to know
that U are very important to me,
It’s impossible for me to live
without U even 4 a second!
U r my life & I can feel
U everywhere….

DON’T MIND I WAS
TALKING ABOUT OXYGEN…

 

 

 » Hi,

Doing nothing?

Then Make a Place,

4 Me in ur Heart!!

I May come there any time!

Ur’s Faithfully,

“HEART ATTACK”

 

 

 » U R the one who is CHARMING
U R the one who is INTELLIGENT
U R the one who is CUTE
and I am the One who is spreading these RUMOURS.

 

 

 » In your life, when
you wake up & don’t see any one,
then come to me, i’ll be there to hold ur
hand & take you to the
EYE SPECIALIST

Best April Fools 2011 sms jokes collection

April fools day is for making pranks, so why not send them pranks in form of message and jokes. We have few very good one for you. Nice and easy, making people fool.

 

We’ve known each other for quite a while now,
do u think we can b more than friends?
cos i like u very much.
will u b my partner 2 rob a bank?

 

SomeOne..
MiSSES U..
NeeDS U..
Worries About U
Lonely Without U
Guess Who?
THE MONKEY IN
… THE ZOO ..

 

If today anyone talks & admires u 4 ur
-good looks

-nature

-style

-attitude,

Kick him/her off.
How dare he/she fool u before april 1st.

 

I want U to know that U are very important to me,
It’s impossible for me to live without U
even 4 a second!
U r my life &
I can feel U everywhere….
EXCUSE ME!!
I AM TALKING ABOUT OXYGEN…

 

A day will come…

When the whole world will, CELEBRATE:
YOUR NAME
YOUR FAME
YOUR PERSONALITY
YOUR THOUGHTS
YOUR VIEWS
But keep in mind,
April Fool comes once a year.
Congratulations!

 


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